Intimacy: Today, I had sex with a guy on the first date. I couldn’t wait,... - FML

By Layne - 07/05/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy on the first date. I couldn’t wait, he was too gorgeous. The only problem was that when we finished, he announced that he had to fart and did so twice. Now I’m not so sure if I’ll see him again. FML

agreeclassic 5 235

vote type 1 7 118

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TOP COMMENTS

HaroerHaktak 5

Sunday 7 May 2017 21:07

I like how you're willing to give up a guy because he released a little gas. There are worse things in the world than that, and personally, if my partner let loose, I'd laugh at rate it.

fancybest 14

Sunday 7 May 2017 21:04

Who cares? These things happen. At least he told you he was going to.

Comments

Blunt person 16

Sunday 25 November 2018 2:50

You'd dump a guy because he farted...? Shallow much? Everyone farts

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after months of celibacy due to being utterly single in this pandemic, I finally got to look a man in the eyes while being deepthroated. Oh. I wasn't gagging on his penis, no no, it was on a Covid test swab. FML

agreeclassic 1 504

vote type 1 326

Today, it's been 3 days since my 95 year-old grandfather got a Vital Call (a big red button to call someone in an emergency). As I live close by, I'm one of the main contacts. I've been called over 6 times, most recently at 1:30 a.m. because he couldn't pull his pants up. He needs to be in a nursing home. FML

agreeclassic 812

vote type 1 107

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

agreeclassic 410

vote type 1 88

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

agreeclassic 43 005

vote type 1 6 084

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

agreeclassic 32 384

vote type 1 2 951

Today, I tried signing into one of my many food apps. After three hours, forty five minutes, and several emails with tech support, I realized that I had mixed up the emails I use for my Amazon and food accounts. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 471