Work: Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's...

By shart - 09/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML

agreeclassic 18 560

vote type 1 2 294

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Pushing the envelope

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML

agreeclassic 969

vote type 1 184

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

agreeclassic 485

vote type 1 90

By no name - 22/06/2013 07:20 - United States - Gaylord

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

agreeclassic 46 775

vote type 1 3 838

SHAME! SHAME!

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

agreeclassic 54 047

vote type 1 5 411

Slippery when oiled

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 12:00

Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML

agreeclassic 795

vote type 1 114

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

agreeclassic 1 446

vote type 1 202

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 20 388

vote type 1 11 024

By embarrassed - 20/12/2010 14:51 - United States

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

agreeclassic 28 064

vote type 1 6 567

By mmckie - 11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

agreeclassic 1 731

vote type 1 451

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

agreeclassic 19 844

vote type 1 2 967

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.

mld4657 28

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

well shit.. oh you already did..

Comments

HrothgarXII 21

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:01

Ooooh no And eeeeew no

madgodvw 7

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Heh, u peed urself

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

He wishes he did.

Kieranr10 23

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Look on the bright side, at least your not injured.

v4valour 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

Tell his confidence that

freyday 18

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Oh my gosh, that's so shitty

v4valour 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

Are you a musician? Because it seems you hit the brown note

mld4657 28

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

well shit.. oh you already did..

Swandive235 27

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

Stop the puns everyone, and that must've sucked big time. I hope you didn't make a huge deal out of it, and few people noticed.

hacksaw246 24

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

You just had to go there didn't you?

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.

Adeptus_Astartes 22

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:06

What have you done! These puns have been forbidden by the prophets, you have surely doomed us all!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

agreeclassic 36 550

vote type 1 6 300

Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML

agreeclassic 998

vote type 1 1 208

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

agreeclassic 368

vote type 1 605

Today, I had to convince policemen I’m not a victim of domestic abuse after I had to go to hospital for a stab wound for the second time since Xmas. I’m just hopelessly clumsy. I managed to stab myself with a screwdriver while opening a paint tin. Last time, it was a knitting needle while knitting Xmas jumpers. FML

agreeclassic 958

vote type 1 194

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

agreeclassic 40 231

vote type 1 9 348

Today, someone told me I have male pattern baldness; they thought so because I apparently have a "receding hairline." It's always been this way, I checked my pictures from the time I shaved my head when I was 16. FML

agreeclassic 748

vote type 1 111

Similar FMLs

Pushing the envelope

Rememberance Day special

SHAME! SHAME!

Slippery when oiled

Bustin' my ass

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