Animals: Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

agreeclassic 32 804

vote type 1 3 145

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By Anonymous - 15/07/2017 00:30 - Italy - Verona

Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML

agreeclassic 4 786

vote type 1 450

The irony stings

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML

agreeclassic 47 067

vote type 1 11 335

Fixing a hole

By NOT THE BEES - 15/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

agreeclassic 348

vote type 1 219

Protein

By Nearly Crashed - 27/05/2013 13:42 - United States - Lake Hiawatha

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

agreeclassic 49 485

vote type 1 9 111

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

agreeclassic 1 258

vote type 1 132

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

agreeclassic 31 958

vote type 1 2 208

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

agreeclassic 47 582

vote type 1 3 089

By hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

agreeclassic 31 598

vote type 1 2 947

By Screamslikeagirl - 27/09/2016 19:17 - United States - Union City

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

agreeclassic 13 164

vote type 1 1 177

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

agreeclassic 827

vote type 1 81

abNormal62 23

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:36

A lot of people go about their days with a slight buzz on to take the edge off

Dreamsorrow93 24

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:35

You honestly should BEE more careful. If I was you, hive seen that coming. Yup, I'm not clever.

Comments

muah97 12

Friday 17 April 2015 12:04

Bee open minded haha

FitFriday 32

Friday 17 April 2015 18:32

I got stung under my eye by a bee once, it left a scar

Mourningside 6

Friday 17 April 2015 23:09

That's pretty unbeelievable, nature should really beehive.

curiouslilbird 19

Saturday 18 April 2015 21:49

OMG I would have screamed my head off! (I hate flying stinging insects) I hope your day got better from there!

sulaymaniyahovar 5

Saturday 25 April 2015 14:28

I guess you're never doing that again

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Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

agreeclassic 44 261

vote type 1 17 494

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 20 115

vote type 1 5 266

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

agreeclassic 1 153

vote type 1 495

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumbs-up. FML

agreeclassic 37 492

vote type 1 3 589

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

agreeclassic 50 114

vote type 1 5 096

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

agreeclassic 31 419

vote type 1 2 347