Miscellaneous: Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the...

By Anon - 25/05/2015 01:14 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

agreeclassic 29 127

vote type 1 12 123

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Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

agreeclassic 264

vote type 1 1 333

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

agreeclassic 21 651

vote type 1 9 155

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

agreeclassic 261

vote type 1 1 426

By PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

agreeclassic 13 382

vote type 1 2 370

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

agreeclassic 4 012

vote type 1 974

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

agreeclassic 1 124

vote type 1 402

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

agreeclassic 28 629

vote type 1 2 736

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

agreeclassic 9 135

vote type 1 73 444

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

agreeclassic 55 911

vote type 1 13 671

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

agreeclassic 25 063

vote type 1 5 061

zAstonish 20

Monday 25 May 2015 11:59

On a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed were you?

rt58killer10 20

Monday 25 May 2015 11:59

The side effects of FML

Comments

Hop6e 22

Tuesday 26 May 2015 2:45

I might be going to see a doctor hun.....

bnbhimp 10

Tuesday 26 May 2015 4:37

Just a wee little accident

Gennocent 17

Tuesday 26 May 2015 5:14

I have a peeing song

foreveralone7_fml 17

Tuesday 26 May 2015 5:53

Pavlov would be proud

momac86 17

Tuesday 26 May 2015 10:31

Don't get pissy

DesDesMooree 6

Tuesday 26 May 2015 21:30

that's just weird...

Blake77_fml 19

Tuesday 26 May 2015 23:48

*Mentions FML to get posted*

Drosophila82 18

Saturday 30 May 2015 8:45

I think you win the FMLer of the year award...

mylife29 4

Sunday 7 June 2015 2:41

Id be so pissed

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Today, I never know who’s going to have my kids during their dad’s weekend. He drops them off with just anyone as he goes partying, but calls the cops if I pick them up early. Last week they were with his girlfriend’s brother; before that it was her uncle, and before that her cousin. All total strangers to the kids. FML

agreeclassic 605

vote type 1 93

Today, it’s been two weeks since I’ve been in Hungary. I make the most of being away from home by dieting, eating for lunch every day a pot of really nice yoghurt with fresh fruit. I learned this morning that “Tejfol” doesn’t mean “yoghurt”, but “cream”. FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 158

Today, I finally realized that my husband doesn't love me, but loves the concept of marriage, as many Christians come to love to appease whoever they must. This is destroying the marriage I envisioned for us and building one of regret, resentment, and even hate. FML

agreeclassic 896

vote type 1 214

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

agreeclassic 1 897

vote type 1 480

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

agreeclassic 46 062

vote type 1 7 810

Today, in the toilet at work, I found that the scissors on my multitool are quite good at getting rid of a shit-stained shirttail. FML

agreeclassic 2 638

vote type 1 630

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