Dogs, Cats and Animals: Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and...

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

agreeclassic 36 533

vote type 1 4 204

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Getting no pussy love

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 05:02

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

agreeclassic 1 323

vote type 1 435

Jealousy

By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

agreeclassic 34 355

vote type 1 5 162

By prevostsrocklike - 11/05/2009 12:38 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

agreeclassic 59 011

vote type 1 10 558

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

agreeclassic 39 946

vote type 1 3 372

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

agreeclassic 32 608

vote type 1 6 505

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

agreeclassic 43 875

vote type 1 4 634

Toot toot

By I…… - 10/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML

agreeclassic 431

vote type 1 91

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

agreeclassic 24 280

vote type 1 2 305

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

agreeclassic 1 909

vote type 1 343

Long day

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML

agreeclassic 182

vote type 1 337

devildog562 33

Friday 14 November 2014 17:19

Seems like they're too catty to cuddle with. Try barking at them. Dogs are mans best friend.

ItsAUnicorn 27

Friday 14 November 2014 17:19

At least the dog's on your side?

Comments

cake_rover 5

Friday 14 November 2014 22:59

just saw this on whisper.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 14 November 2014 23:09

Pussy blocked

TheNamezZero 5

Friday 14 November 2014 23:10

I read "kitten" as kitchen :( I read it 4 times before I figured out my mistake

briang959 47

Saturday 15 November 2014 0:11

Maybe the kitten knows something we don't.

Kendrah18 19

Saturday 15 November 2014 3:13

Haha that's something I would do. As a joke though lol.

Parvati48 15

Saturday 15 November 2014 6:30

Aw, sorry to hear that OP.

baxwar 15

Saturday 15 November 2014 9:43

At least you still have your bitch

retrorewind 13

Saturday 15 November 2014 20:48

don't ever try to get in between pu$$y my son

dominature 7

Sunday 16 November 2014 3:59

Hot

Niedermayer_20 12

Sunday 16 November 2014 6:49

Say my name.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML

agreeclassic 1 600

vote type 1 252

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

agreeclassic 38 018

vote type 1 8 740

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

agreeclassic 27 185

vote type 1 6 885

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

agreeclassic 35 219

vote type 1 3 577

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

agreeclassic 35 710

vote type 1 3 951

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

agreeclassic 39 411

vote type 1 3 996