Health: Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting...

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

agreeclassic 18 319

vote type 1 2 805

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By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

agreeclassic 15 999

vote type 1 29 201

Shyness alert

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

agreeclassic 31 077

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By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

agreeclassic 11 826

vote type 1 42 674

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

agreeclassic 2 771

vote type 1 905

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

agreeclassic 6 664

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By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

agreeclassic 26 593

vote type 1 4 371

By Hth - 28/10/2008 00:13 - United States

Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

agreeclassic 18 339

vote type 1 43 761

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

agreeclassic 2 301

vote type 1 378

Chill out zone

By Gassy Patient - 06/06/2025 14:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

agreeclassic 354

vote type 1 149

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

agreeclassic 19 703

vote type 1 7 235

jfj126 13

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:18

Just be glad you didn't shart.

lightningclicks 24

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:17

farts are the poop screaming to get out

Comments

ENAJonas 5

Wednesday 24 February 2016 1:26

Those types of foods are usually the ones that do it the most!!

scyth3s 13

Wednesday 24 February 2016 1:43

So... You realize changes in diet can cause farts, right? Even non gassy foods.

ndaguanno 17

Wednesday 24 February 2016 4:54

Could of taken beano as well

AdamTodddBrown 11

Wednesday 24 February 2016 15:02

Lol certain foods to avoid farting? And, a concert where people had time to comment on a fart? Who the **** are you?

citrusglass 22

Wednesday 24 February 2016 22:20

Well, what can you do? Nice effort though, OP.

hilfiger_fml 5

Thursday 25 February 2016 1:33

How is this an fml? You must live a blessed life!

honestjane 22

Thursday 25 February 2016 6:05

It is unacceptable to fart in public unless the music is loud and you keep moving.

thatonechicksaid 12

Thursday 25 February 2016 19:53

I'm sorry but that's funny

Ferret_Mummy 10

Saturday 27 February 2016 20:19

Gas away Fartzilla. Everyone farts and everyone's shit stinks no matter how much they deny it

Boomi 38

Wednesday 13 September 2017 3:41

Pumbaa is real! Hakuna matata!

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agreeclassic 6 588

vote type 1 766

Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 24 075

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Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly, "You need to work on that." We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said, "You need to work on not farting in your sleep." FML

agreeclassic 24 552

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Today, I bought $3 hair ties. I then spent the night at the emergency vet after my kitten managed to open the drawer and eat them. So today, I actually bought $1003 hair ties. FML

agreeclassic 1 837

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Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

agreeclassic 48 404

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