Animals: Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

agreeclassic 36 679

vote type 1 5 986

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By audreyav - 30/06/2012 08:10 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

agreeclassic 26 752

vote type 1 3 478

Poor kitty

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

agreeclassic 29 653

vote type 1 8 433

By Anonymous - 28/02/2012 18:20 - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

agreeclassic 33 321

vote type 1 2 830

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 10:51 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

agreeclassic 26 289

vote type 1 2 755

Revenge is sweet

By Jim20 - 20/02/2025 03:00 - Germany - Friedberg

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

agreeclassic 481

vote type 1 90

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

agreeclassic 37 999

vote type 1 50 066

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

agreeclassic 42 728

vote type 1 18 777

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

agreeclassic 30 479

vote type 1 4 680

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

agreeclassic 2 433

vote type 1 348

By nicole - 22/09/2011 10:31 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 40 422

vote type 1 5 433

Fuzzbump 5

Monday 28 March 2011 12:15

Look on the bright side! You have a cat.

spikey818 9

Monday 28 March 2011 12:09

that's hot

Comments

CannibalCharlie 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:21

Aww kitteh loves your mouth germs. :3

thecovert 7

Monday 28 March 2011 20:30

LOL! Thanks for the Monday laugh!

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 28 March 2011 20:57

...after licking it's ass.

super77 0

Monday 28 March 2011 21:21

u made my day!

sjch 0

Monday 28 March 2011 21:24

Cats really like the taste of mint, or at least mine do.

nietsrepus 0

Monday 28 March 2011 22:28

pwnd

rachii 0

Monday 28 March 2011 22:55

Maybe OP knew, but liked the taste...

mazesm 11

Monday 28 March 2011 23:25

Haha, this is a good FML, wish it was mine.

sgenfkshe 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:15

cats have realllyyyyyy clean tongues! don't worry!!:)

sgenfkshe 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:25

cats have really clean tounges!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

agreeclassic 200

vote type 1 912

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

agreeclassic 23 518

vote type 1 1 583

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

agreeclassic 26 837

vote type 1 3 512

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

agreeclassic 23 102

vote type 1 9 056

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

agreeclassic 47 179

vote type 1 2 839

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

agreeclassic 235

vote type 1 533

Similar FMLs

Poor kitty

Revenge is sweet

TOP COMMENTS

Comments