Miscellaneous: Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake...

By partygirlxxx - 24/05/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML

agreeclassic 59 732

vote type 1 9 754

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By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

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By Scarred4Life - 11/10/2015 03:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

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By cupcake_butt - 17/10/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

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By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

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By ijustwantpizza - 07/01/2015 12:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML

agreeclassic 38 653

vote type 1 7 578

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

agreeclassic 1 930

vote type 1 152

JGunit 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 10:12

how do you not know its real?

ronton 4

Thursday 5 August 2010 20:16

there are no Harry potter edible cockroaches. that's chocolate frogs

Comments

Jimmy_fml 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:56

Well I guess Entomologists have their perks. This wouldn't of happened to one.

Brendiux 0

Monday 1 June 2009 3:10

soooo disgusting!! i feel bad for u :( FYL!! #77 #85 xD

Rachellisawesome 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:03

I agree with #8.

ero_hime 0

Monday 8 June 2009 15:21

mmmm protein :) *gag*

hockeyfan_30 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 5:03

cockroach win! lol how is that actually possible though? how could a real cockroach get into the package in the first place?

Felonia 0

Monday 22 June 2009 9:28

...ew. omg. ew. *hug*

KonM4N4Life 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 20:59

Hahahaha Good u read down to the 100s

bigraws23 0

Friday 10 July 2009 0:54

What's up with your name? Partygirlxxx

riotslikeus 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 11:17

why would u eat it?

loveyahun 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:42

Edible cockroaches? Aren't all insects edible?

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Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML

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vote type 1 285

Today, I overheard my husband screaming and sobbing into the phone. Apparently, his mistress has been cheating on him with both his brother and their uncle. Who’s the woman in question? My much younger niece, who lives next door. I don’t even know where to begin to approach this dumpster fire. FML

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Today, I got stoned with the clowns at the birthday party I took my niece to. This is a new low point. FML

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Today, my friend and I decided to have a "special intimate" moment together at his house. As soon as I start to really get into it, he said to me, "I sort of wanna do your mom." Way to kill the mood. FML

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Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

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Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

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