Embarrassing and Kids: Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my...

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

agreeclassic 33 893

vote type 1 8 370

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By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

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By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

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By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

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By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

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By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

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By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

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By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

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By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

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Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

agreeclassic 1 862

vote type 1 436

mightymart 5

Monday 23 May 2011 12:03

hehe not so bad.. he could have caught you doing something else...

SlyTail 5

Monday 23 May 2011 12:01

Ahhh kids..

Comments

alex1432 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:01

at least you woke up, some people aren't as lucky

samicna 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:56

she loves her mommy

Faz7875 2

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:15

That's what happens when u have kids. No sympathy.

kassieleigh 3

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:17

hmm, my mom did that too the other night.. apparently it is a new trend.

SunDropGirl 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:59

eh no biggie I can fall asleep anywhere!(:

envyyourlife 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 18:20

you shouldnt let ur kids in the bathroom when your naping.

greenlipgloss 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 9:27

hahaha thats hilarious :)

stepherly 5

Monday 18 July 2011 19:54

Go out like Elvis.

bigbangvip1 7

Thursday 9 May 2013 6:01

this website has helped my decision on having kids, NEVER. GONNA.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

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