Kids Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled...

Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

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diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

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Future Darwin Award

don'tdrinkthat - - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

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What happened?

....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

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Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

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A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

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windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

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Who gave him that?

Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

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About to Popov

badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

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herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

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JoeRogansBEARD 15

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:00

Like a rhinestone cowboy

whatadaydanny 12

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:01

He had an awesome night.

burro_fml 6

Friday 12 October 2012 22:41

At least he listens to Nicki Minaj...

thefuckinloser 6

Saturday 13 October 2012 5:58

oh ok

untamable_mare 4

Saturday 13 October 2012 10:57

High Five!

deegeebee 10

Saturday 13 October 2012 22:45

Hang on, what exactly is "it" in this situation? "...he passed out in IT".

sundayporch 2

Sunday 14 October 2012 21:41

"[he] promptly threw up and passed out in it." "It" is the stomach contents he just threw up.

buddy64 5

Saturday 13 October 2012 23:42

bottle sip, bottle guzzle, imma bad b**** no motto, AYE- nicki minaj pound the alarm

euuandne 1

Sunday 14 October 2012 6:45

Moment to remember

Jadylady 9

Sunday 14 October 2012 11:03

"Bottle sip bottle guzzle" YAY NICKI MINAJ

kittykatsbab 3

Wednesday 24 October 2012 15:28

You Should have taken pictures and let him there to wake up. When he asked what happened show him the pictures and tell him if he does it again you'll show all his drinking buddies.