Intimacy: Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

agreeclassic 9 599

vote type 1 24 361

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

agreeclassic 5 585

vote type 1 437

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

agreeclassic 2 266

vote type 1 307

Hangover time

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

agreeclassic 8 410

vote type 1 30 881

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Spicy

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

agreeclassic 10 825

vote type 1 2 920

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

agreeclassic 25 808

vote type 1 4 732

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

agreeclassic 39 647

vote type 1 2 817

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

agreeclassic 23 948

vote type 1 4 014

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

agreeclassic 23 279

vote type 1 62 422

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

agreeclassic 2 067

vote type 1 160

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

agreeclassic 23 801

vote type 1 1 562

Next

TOP COMMENTS

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:32

YDI for sleeping with some guy you just met.

youdontdeserveit_fml 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:27

shamwow?

Comments

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 19:24

Win

killurbeer 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 22:21

bet she does anal

Clitastrophe 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 23:11

Follow him home and pee on his carpet. That'll show him.

Voids 0

Monday 19 October 2009 1:06

Just thank the lord it wasn't yours and move on. 

FoundManyLemons 0

Monday 19 October 2009 1:59

You never know what you're taking home. FYL and YDI (but just a little).

spiffydick 0

Monday 19 October 2009 2:06

Stupid ****... YDI for being a *****.

xSceneSceneBabyx 0

Monday 19 October 2009 3:57

hey. be happy it wasn't your carpet.

mad92679 1

Monday 19 October 2009 5:41

hahah your a ******* **** and desereved it.

jbm0225 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:47

at least he didn't shit instead.

ami1043 0

Monday 19 October 2009 6:17

I love how when a girl talks about a bad one nightstand people call her a *****, but when a guy has a bad one night stand everyone agrees that it's an fml.

Villa3L 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 4:40

#24 Is So Right .. &I Like The Whole Following Him Home &Pissing On His Carpet Idea =]

Aggriken 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 1:17

fml is just filled with uptight prudes who can't get laid and try to make fun of those who can.

1
2
3
4
5

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my parents asked me if I was sure I didn't want to join them on a family trip tomorrow with my sister. I was never invited, and unlike the rest of the family, I have a full-time job where I can't just take days off with no warning. This is how they announce most "family trips" to me. FML

agreeclassic 1 262

vote type 1 72

Today, I declared I was done with online dating after several disasters. My friend set me up with a friend of her husband's. Turns out he's one of the men who rejected me on the website. He laughed when he saw me and said, "Well, this is awkward" and left. FML

agreeclassic 14 634

vote type 1 994

Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

agreeclassic 43 336

vote type 1 2 647

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML

agreeclassic 1 169

vote type 1 79

Today, my wife has been angry since she walked in on me masturbating. In our hotel room. In NYC. That I booked for our anniversary. That she doesn’t want to leave. Or have sex in. FML

agreeclassic 1 190

vote type 1 310

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

agreeclassic 32 485

vote type 1 3 357