Miscellaneous: Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water...

By waterbottlehit - 02/12/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

agreeclassic 30 408

vote type 1 3 467

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Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

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Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

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By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

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By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML

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By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 00:59

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

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But… why would you do that?

By cheerupsookylala - 29/09/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML

agreeclassic 131

vote type 1 933

Cyanidenhappines 0

Friday 2 December 2011 12:15

Haha that's pretty funny actually.

EvilPotato 14

Friday 2 December 2011 12:18

Oh my god, it's a sign if the Apocalypse, run for your lives!

Comments

Strwbry3Shortcke 8

Friday 2 December 2011 22:35

I'm not sure whether to laugh or be creeped out /:

Troll_spray 6

Friday 2 December 2011 22:42

Well, now you have some bottled water to drink. O,^

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Friday 2 December 2011 23:11

Hey at least it warned You!

ALLDAY88 8

Friday 2 December 2011 23:26

At least it wasn't a cocktail Molotov.

megsawesome 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 0:28

Can't say that they didn't worn you.

juicycutora 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 1:32

I don't believe that

punkrocker092 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 8:43

That... Is.....awesomazing

DecemberSkye44 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 12:40

FYL royally. I am so sorry, OP, but this is the first thing that's made me bust out laughing in a week.... I'm thinking of doing it to my ex. :-)

mk58 31

Saturday 3 December 2011 20:01

Hey, at least they warned you!

Dflips 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 20:41

That's some funny shit

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agreeclassic 3 431

vote type 1 322

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship online. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

agreeclassic 29 964

vote type 1 11 072

Today, I woke up to my apartment in a state of total disarray. I've been asking my boyfriend to get either get a job, or clean the house. I just had a bunch of dental work taken care of. He doesn't have a job, and doesn't want to find one. I'm tired of trying to raise an already grown man. FML

agreeclassic 1 692

vote type 1 978

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

agreeclassic 27 526

vote type 1 18 624

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

agreeclassic 694

vote type 1 209

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

agreeclassic 25 582

vote type 1 2 385