Health and Miscellaneous: Thrashed

Thrashed

By Ringo McDingo - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

agreeclassic 22 558

vote type 1 2 268

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By lalalalainie - 13/10/2012 06:45 - United States - Fullerton

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

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Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

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Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

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GRRSOM 7

Monday 26 March 2012 11:57

Hope you don't take it offensive if people call you crack head for a while.

BunBunBabe 8

Monday 26 March 2012 11:56

What the hell how did that not wake you up? You must have actually knocked yourself out! Hope you get better sleep tomorrow than that

Comments

coloris 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:39

Heyyy, that rhymed.

ajduscfan 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:54

You were raped

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 27 March 2012 6:34

Those must have been some heavy curtains. Or did you pull down the rod, too?

Ashley_ni_col_e 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:50

That rhymes :p

vicky_reoow 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 13:26

bloody hell ...

Immolate 11

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:44

RHYMES!!

jesse91 12

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:47

i nearly stuck my foot through a glass window a few nights ago. i almost feel your pain, OP.

SierraHocken1995 5

Thursday 13 June 2013 7:00

that rhymed !! :D

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Keywords

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Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

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Today, I was on the job as an ambulance driver, I got a call about a man who claimed he'd had a heart attack. When I got to the house, it turned out the man was fine. I did however manage to hit a dog on the way there in fear of the man dying. FML

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Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML

agreeclassic 180

vote type 1 657

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

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Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

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vote type 1 512