Kids, Health, Pregnancy and Babies: The joys of motherhood

The joys of motherhood

By Walaa Hamdan - 31/08/2021 04:01

Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML

agreeclassic 1 171

vote type 1 142

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 16:34 - United States

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

agreeclassic 40 434

vote type 1 2 852

What a tit

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML

agreeclassic 821

vote type 1 350

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 12:00 - Germany - Emden

Today, I asked a gynecologist if there’s any help for my boobs feeling like giant bruises one week out of three. Her reply was, “If you’re not willing to take pain killers for it, it can’t be that bad.” FML

agreeclassic 802

vote type 1 215

By mama75 - 17/03/2010 14:18 - United States

Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML

agreeclassic 32 271

vote type 1 5 132

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

agreeclassic 71 422

vote type 1 6 568

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

agreeclassic 37 308

vote type 1 6 428

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

agreeclassic 48 383

vote type 1 5 003

Fragile

By Ouch - 18/01/2021 08:02

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML

agreeclassic 960

vote type 1 149

**** McGee

By BoobiePain - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint John

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

agreeclassic 40 258

vote type 1 3 090

By don't cry over spilled milk - 23/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Elmendorf Afb

Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML

agreeclassic 11 250

vote type 1 1 443

Funmilayo Celestina Ekundayo 4

Wednesday 1 September 2021 5:06

Hot compress and deep long massage to expel the liquid. It's backed up. You need a pump... Start trying to pump asap

Comments

Plop 17

Tuesday 31 August 2021 10:15

Ask your husband to massage and suck on them. I'm sure he'll be glad to help. Oh, and your problem, right. Well, I guess there's no solution.

Funmilayo Celestina Ekundayo 4

Wednesday 1 September 2021 5:06

Hot compress and deep long massage to expel the liquid. It's backed up. You need a pump... Start trying to pump asap

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Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

agreeclassic 16 642

vote type 1 57 781

Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML

agreeclassic 1 977

vote type 1 708

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

agreeclassic 10 064

vote type 1 84 123

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

agreeclassic 37 695

vote type 1 6 945

Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML

agreeclassic 23 931

vote type 1 1 819

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

agreeclassic 22 916

vote type 1 4 726