Sex and Intimacy: Technique - FML

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

agreeclassic 33 700

vote type 1 4 302

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Sexy times

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

agreeclassic 1 583

vote type 1 353

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

agreeclassic 23 452

vote type 1 3 246

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

agreeclassic 51 549

vote type 1 6 696

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

agreeclassic 33 798

vote type 1 6 505

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

agreeclassic 25 124

vote type 1 3 876

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

agreeclassic 1 260

vote type 1 345

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

agreeclassic 32 003

vote type 1 4 456

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

agreeclassic 531

vote type 1 125

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

agreeclassic 34 176

vote type 1 7 043

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

agreeclassic 2 295

vote type 1 341

Next

TOP COMMENTS

perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

Comments

SadinSherman 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:25

That's is so creepy.

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:26

break up with the one pump chump every girl should get at least 10 min of pounding unless it's a quicky lol

GoColts8718 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:28

Well Minnie Mouse is pretty hot

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:36

maybe but he still shouldn't be a little one pump chump

dreamering 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

He could have been horror movie fan. Halloween is coming

duboss_fml 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

just hit me up when ur single haha but yeah this is funny

kportal69 5

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:47

time to find a new bf

BeNKiN 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:04

YTD for dating a 5 year old

Michael123087 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:11

they have lotions for this kinda thing. lol

MJFG100 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:13

are u dating a child?

docscientist 9

Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:43

Children can't ejaculate.

salic77 11

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:11

yes, yes some can. at 6 I got erections and at 8 was mah first ejaculation. (was a disturbed child leave me be.)

BonJovi821 3

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:18

You realize that males start having erections in the mother's womb, right? There's no set age for them to start...

Bonzer 2

Tuesday 17 July 2012 4:28

56- I can

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I was brake-checking a Dodge Charger who was attempting to run me off. It was an undercover police car. FML

agreeclassic 327

vote type 1 1 720

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

agreeclassic 31 987

vote type 1 3 984

Today, instead of getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend, I’m recovering from emergency surgery. Last year my kid gave me COVID for Mother’s Day. The year before, my whole family forgot. FML

agreeclassic 513

vote type 1 123

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

agreeclassic 45 414

vote type 1 8 445

Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML

agreeclassic 589

vote type 1 108

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

agreeclassic 22 865

vote type 1 4 626