Transportation, Alcohol, Cars Cops Straight to jail

Straight to jail

breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

35 388

300 427

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Party hard

jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

7 031

46 474

porkabye - 02/08/2014 23:44 - United States - Duluth

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

40 509

3 132

The first step is admitting it

The_failure -

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

2 025

856

schoolgrlstaci - 07/04/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

26 047

102 944

Hair of the dog

shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

25 978

43 663

Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

43 016

24 017

Jesse - 20/03/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

37 958

151 359

Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

53 005

4 140

Anonymous - 16/11/2010 12:28 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

29 398

7 099

Protip: Don't

Anonymous - - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

10 154

25 168

I_Deserved_It 10

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:03

... how could you not have known that? Oh, and YDI for drunk driving.

kscott88 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:04

You're an idiot for multiple reasons. A) Driving drunk B) Not knowing that most mouthwashes have a high alcohol content C) Keeping mouthwash for emergency reasons

armywife82 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:37

Um you would be dead if you blew that much, your an idiot and you don't sound cool but nice try

tiltwrestler 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:39

It's the people who drive drunk in the first place who are retarded.... so considering this guy was driving drunk, it doesn't really surprise me he didn't know anything about the stuff he puts in his mouth (mouthwash). On a side note, about 14,000 people die of drunk driving in america every year, and 40 million babies die from abortions, but somehow the Iraq war (4000 soldiers dead) is the evil, unjustified thing...

coloradodude12 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:39

Idiot. First of all, you chew gum. Second, you shouldn't need to. Well I guess natural selection failed, if you were stupid enough to drive drunk you should have been jailed.

Locket_fml 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:42

#187, please read my previous post at #135, or lookup the effects of mouth alcohol. No problem, its my pleasure.

Feltron 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:44

lol at 184 you sure aren't good at math cuz 2.37 is 2.37% not the fraction so you dont need to multiply by 100 again. and **** the author for drunk driving. YDI

prophet19 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:46

YDI for being a ******* retard and drunk driving. too bad you didn't crash and die.

superson_fml 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:47

You should've just put a penny under your tongue. That's what really works.

blankslate 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:47

uhhh durrrr.

Bloodrush 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 22:48

the death range would be between about .4 and above and you blew a 2.37.....what's more retarded the fact that you A. drove drunk B. didn't know alcohol was in listerine or C. don't know how to read your own blood alcohol concentration