Animals, Cats and Painful: Stealth attack

Stealth attack

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML

agreeclassic 803

vote type 1 177

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Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

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By Backinzi - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

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Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

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By thewrittenrebel - 28/10/2014 07:40 - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Saturday 12 December 2020 1:48

Maybe you need to branch out. Or consider your roots. I'll leaf now...

heartbreaker 12

Friday 11 December 2020 17:14

Sounds like that kitty needs more stimulation! And scratching pads or posts sprayed or sprinkled with catnip can help to draw it's attention to where that behavior is appropriate. I really doubt you look like a tree!