Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Split second

Split second

By FLIPmcCOOL - 15/05/2014 22:57 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

agreeclassic 38 166

vote type 1 60 813

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By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

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By scalmon - 13/05/2011 17:08 - United States

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

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By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

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By Anonymous - 20/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Kennebunk

Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the dirty, when she told me to say her full name, including her middle name. I'd forgot her middle name. It was completely awkward after. I'm a dumbass. FML

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By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

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Freudian slip

By Daria_Weiner - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation

Today, at my anniversary party, and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

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Sorry sweaty, my brain is melting

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 22:01

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

agreeclassic 373

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By thatsnotmyname - 03/07/2014 03:12 - United States - Calhoun City

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

agreeclassic 45 062

vote type 1 7 814

kcpestwick 15

Friday 16 May 2014 10:48

Should've had a Twix

maxii290594 8

Friday 16 May 2014 10:52

Wrong answer buddy , wrong answer ... You're screwed

Comments

idkwhyxD 5

Wednesday 12 October 2016 6:53

I would've beat the shit outta you.

jjculmer28 4

Saturday 27 January 2018 16:28

how long until you're able to stand up again! 😂

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

agreeclassic 1 457

vote type 1 179

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

agreeclassic 28 428

vote type 1 4 194

Today, I was having drilling work done on my teeth. My dentist slipped and drilled a hole in my cheek. I said mistakes happen, but that I didn't expect to pay for the work. They still billed me for it and sent me a prescription that I had to go and get (and pay for) in case it got infected. FML

agreeclassic 1 307

vote type 1 134

Today, I got into an accident in my girlfriend's car. While I was in the emergency room, crying from the pain, she reassured me, "don't worry, you can pay me for the damage in several installments if you need to." FML

agreeclassic 4 966

vote type 1 1 466

Today, I thought I saw my ex in a crowded café, so I ducked behind a counter to avoid them. It turns out that I was hiding from a random stranger, while the barista thought I was trying to steal muffins. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 540

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

agreeclassic 18 870

vote type 1 70 394