Love: Smooth

Smooth

By Rhine - 16/12/2012 23:51 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 33 196

vote type 1 15 079

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 02:09 - United States - Roswell

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

agreeclassic 21 073

vote type 1 24 553

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 01:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

agreeclassic 32 765

vote type 1 4 243

By Anonymous - 13/09/2016 16:33 - United States - Orlando

Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML

agreeclassic 18 561

vote type 1 1 746

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

agreeclassic 46 915

vote type 1 8 257

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

agreeclassic 44 441

vote type 1 5 762

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

agreeclassic 4 677

vote type 1 409

PUA in training

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML

agreeclassic 156

vote type 1 435

By MADfml - 26/02/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

agreeclassic 59 666

vote type 1 5 211

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

agreeclassic 20 591

vote type 1 45 376

Nice try

By damn... - this FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

agreeclassic 35 153

vote type 1 6 412

fenixtorador1 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:01

What did you expect from a muggle?

ayamekiba 13

Monday 17 December 2012 9:08

Ignore the muggle, you should of followed it with 'my name might not be luna but i know how to lovegood.'

Comments

superpoptart 24

Monday 17 December 2012 9:16

OP, you are awesome.

sexystyleist 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

Awesome! I love it!

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Monday 17 December 2012 9:25

I love Luna :3 sucks he didn't get the reference though.

Anti666 17

Monday 17 December 2012 9:34

I wish something like this would happen to me.

randomperson85 2

Monday 17 December 2012 9:36

Yeah I'd kiss you after that Harry Potter reference

bexxiiee 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:39

He didn't deserve a kiss anyway if he didn't get the reference.

fsomelife 26

Monday 17 December 2012 9:44

#19 - nargles?

Sneekert 4

Monday 17 December 2012 9:45

That's pretty funny :)

MsMourningStar 22

Monday 17 December 2012 9:52

I love you for that!

bikramkohli 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:53

I totally agree. I would've kissed OP too.

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Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

agreeclassic 23 360

vote type 1 1 961

Today, I signed up for my ex’s OnlyFans. She never sent me nudes when we were dating, now she’s selling them to everyone she knows. FML

agreeclassic 908

vote type 1 1 625

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

agreeclassic 36 984

vote type 1 2 557

Today, I decided to turn over a new leaf. I slept eleven hours instead of twelve, with the intention of cutting down to eight. Instead, my body chose to faint from exhaustion. FML

agreeclassic 555

vote type 1 218

Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML

agreeclassic 3 075

vote type 1 569

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

agreeclassic 19 768

vote type 1 40 239