Customers and Work: SIR!

SIR!

By twatstick - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Worksop

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

agreeclassic 48 148

vote type 1 3 434

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

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By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

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By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

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By whitecollar - 05/12/2012 02:43 - United Kingdom - Scarborough

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

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By Herman - 25/02/2010 00:57 - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

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By staticman101 - 04/10/2012 03:14 - United States - Allendale

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

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Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

agreeclassic 946

vote type 1 191

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

agreeclassic 27 734

vote type 1 2 488

By Snails - 12/06/2019 20:00

Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML

agreeclassic 1 475

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DocBastard 38

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:02

I hope you work at a grocery store. Otherwise this FML goes from kinky to truly bizarre.

ballettillidie 8

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:01

Please use the lotion instead.

Comments

NiZZALooNY 9

Thursday 22 August 2013 6:55

how did she deserve it..

Jabray 10

Thursday 22 August 2013 8:12

Didn't need that mental image.

flying_turtle_14 7

Thursday 22 August 2013 11:42

That takes playing with your food to a whole new level.

XSabinX 3

Thursday 22 August 2013 16:54

Aww, c'mon. Give peas a chance!!!

DWynter 11

Thursday 22 August 2013 18:12

I'm just trying to figure out why you'd say that - unless some one was rubbing peas on them self? Like #4 says, I hope you work at a grocery store.

NOACCEPTANCE772 21

Thursday 22 August 2013 19:03

Happened here in Nottingham? Where not shit happens? Hard to believe...

jimmywithsalt 19

Thursday 22 August 2013 22:29

Haha I love how this is worded, OP! :)

maggiewalters 17

Friday 23 August 2013 0:04

Were they in a pack, frozen? Otherwise i cant see how this would work...

Bludmagnus 13

Sunday 1 September 2013 10:58

OMG... I really don't want to know more details.. and that is the first time I have ever said that to an FML that is so short....

BlackFire4890 16

Friday 6 March 2015 1:30

ROTFLMFAO

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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SIR!

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