Awkward, Airplanes and Intimacy: Security check

Security check

By Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

agreeclassic 27 868

vote type 1 70 605

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

agreeclassic 25 360

vote type 1 2 473

By Pissy - 27/11/2016 20:15

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

agreeclassic 10 397

vote type 1 1 056

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

agreeclassic 57 371

vote type 1 6 846

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

agreeclassic 17 578

vote type 1 49 793

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

agreeclassic 3 385

vote type 1 378

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

agreeclassic 29 550

vote type 1 6 407

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

agreeclassic 55 288

vote type 1 11 631

By ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

agreeclassic 1 649

vote type 1 618

Enjoy yourself, I guess

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

agreeclassic 6 645

vote type 1 1 307

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

agreeclassic 65 379

vote type 1 6 382

RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

Comments

RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

Sterenoa 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 5:15

were you planning on having nasty airplane butt secks

GGTM0710 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 2:20

it depends, if u wernt checking anything I cud understand, but if u were, WTF y wud u need that on a plane

yummylicious 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 6:39

mile high club

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

alicedbt 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:01

just what I was thinking

YDIomg 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:17

same! i mean seriously, what were they thinking.

unitedfan11 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 13:19

So they could do it in the plane bathroom. BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!!

till_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:39

haha, i'd have to agree with #1

vicious_ 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:40

#2, mile high club?

teddy4nyy 13

Saturday 25 December 2010 4:27

took the words right out of my mouth

Neep_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:43

Even with the no liquids rule... why bring vagisil, massage oil, and nair on a plane? I can understand the lube thing... if you were planning on plane sex... but the other stuff.. wtf.