Money and Health: Plumes - FML

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

agreeclassic 739

vote type 1 186

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

agreeclassic 52 206

vote type 1 3 533

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

agreeclassic 2 364

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Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

agreeclassic 880

vote type 1 91

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

agreeclassic 55 200

vote type 1 8 990

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

agreeclassic 10 807

vote type 1 126 116

Bills bills bills

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 12:00

Today, my dad snooped at my payslip and now he keeps calling me a tight cunt who should contribute more. This from the man who smokes 50 a day but hasn’t had full-time employment since 2009. Plus I pay rent, and the gas and electric when he can’t afford to, which is every month. FML

agreeclassic 1 064

vote type 1 106

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

agreeclassic 45 596

vote type 1 3 378

Birthday blues

By omaha24 - 29/04/2020 02:00

Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML

agreeclassic 1 608

vote type 1 574

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 06:59 - United States - Wittenberg

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

agreeclassic 22 186

vote type 1 9 619

Cough up

By xerrika - 03/06/2014 11:56 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

agreeclassic 44 782

vote type 1 8 953

Next

TOP COMMENTS

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 8

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

Comments

Carrie 12

Friday 9 December 2022 11:20

Half your weekly pay cheque or monthly?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:20

Probably her fortnightly paycheck.

Yudith 25

Friday 9 December 2022 13:20

Have you thought about buying your stepfather's cigarettes at Kanesatake or Akwesasne like everyone else? This way, his cigs will only cost a quarter of your paycheck.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 8

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

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Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

agreeclassic 24 720

vote type 1 6 032

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

agreeclassic 45 250

vote type 1 3 662

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

agreeclassic 53 681

vote type 1 4 941

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

agreeclassic 27 361

vote type 1 2 965

Today, I bought a truck. It's a little beat up, but I got a pretty good deal because of it… Or so I thought. Turns out there's a Nickelback CD stuck in the player. And the radio is spotty. I can't help but think that had something to do with it. FML

agreeclassic 758

vote type 1 216

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

agreeclassic 74 829

vote type 1 3 669