Intimacy Health Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes - FML

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

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Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

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Fight me

Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

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iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

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Gotcha good

Anonymous - 08/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

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areyoukiddingme - 02/11/2015 05:54 - United States - Marion

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

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The runs

stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

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Why Me - 15/08/2018 04:00

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

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Spooky

Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

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Hand sanitizer

sexlube - 01/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, my kid told my wife he's been using the hand sanitizer under our bathroom sink. It's not hand sanitizer, it's a giant bottle of lube.

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Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

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lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

jcash52426 5

Friday 10 February 2017 3:25

I bet that burned!

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 10 February 2017 3:32

That's what you get for being a total penis.

runswithlions 3

Friday 10 February 2017 5:14

YOU DESERVE IT. I pressed the YDI button and commenting you deserve it only because I can't pressed the button more than once to justify how much you do :)

AngelusLeonhart 3

Friday 10 February 2017 5:22

Absolutely barbaric

CountZiggenpuss 7

Friday 10 February 2017 5:32

Be happy it was just sanitizer. I would have put sand in your lube.

diisneygirl 2

Friday 10 February 2017 6:33

Yep. You deserved that one lol.

acmariner99 25

Friday 10 February 2017 17:11

Just be glad it wasn't habanero oil. You totally deserved it.

ElusiveMee 6

Friday 10 February 2017 23:17

Ok folks. I agreed with the YDI. But you can't compare slippery hands to what equates to burning lava on his and her bits. It's just not an equal payback. FML

helloimkylieee 19

Saturday 11 February 2017 2:45

I really hope the girl he was gonna use it with didn't get it in or on her... that would be so painful, and she's innocent! Dx

notatfault 8

Saturday 11 February 2017 1:09

Lesson learned. At least it wasn't pppers or chili sauce.

StoneColdShaky 7

Saturday 11 February 2017 2:30

That's.... just.... awesome....

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

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Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

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Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

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Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

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Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML

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Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

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