Sex, Awkward, Religion, Wanker and Intimacy: No fun allowed

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 32 402

vote type 1 2 300

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2015 07:01 - United States

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

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By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

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By oops - 08/05/2013 14:44 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

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Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

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By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

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The heart wants what it wants

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 03:00

Today, my strictly religious parents found my vibrator. I’m a man and when they found out I masturbate with a penis shaped vibe up my ass they went Catholic nuclear on me. I'm trying to ignore them but they have sent up camp in my living room and refuse to go home. FML

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By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

agreeclassic 71 686

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By Vincent - 02/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Overland Park

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

agreeclassic 53 156

vote type 1 8 340

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

agreeclassic 17 218

vote type 1 56 691

odamaliekh 26

Saturday 4 July 2015 9:39

Anything can be a ***** if you're brave enough.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 4 July 2015 9:37

What's her reaction to mouthwash or Vaseline?

Comments

PrincessZelda_HR 22

Monday 6 July 2015 15:45

No no no, she's paranoid because she's religious, which makes her ACT dumb.

lostinareverie 21

Monday 6 July 2015 17:24

For a refreshing feeling!

wallmaria 15

Monday 6 July 2015 20:06

omfg

Spadoinkle 10

Tuesday 7 July 2015 3:03

I think your mother needs an anatomy lesson. Unless you prefer the vibration while you **********, of course.

InSultan 14

Tuesday 7 July 2015 6:10

dat username

carl_carl_ 28

Monday 13 July 2015 13:33

That title got me "but cum to think of it"

annoyedperson 25

Sunday 17 January 2016 5:52

you could stick it up your arse

hwasnak 13

Friday 13 May 2016 22:45

Ever heard of gay guys? LOL this post is insensitive

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