Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cars and Farts: Lingering - FML

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

agreeclassic 45 590

vote type 1 5 479

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

agreeclassic 27 574

vote type 1 3 801

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

agreeclassic 33 617

vote type 1 2 949

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

agreeclassic 3 314

vote type 1 308

Date night

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

agreeclassic 14 801

vote type 1 1 615

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

agreeclassic 1 726

vote type 1 611

Beep beep

By Skankeriffic - 19/02/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

agreeclassic 7 232

vote type 1 30 756

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

agreeclassic 4 885

vote type 1 364

Love is…

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

agreeclassic 13 509

vote type 1 1 122

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

agreeclassic 1 693

vote type 1 870

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

agreeclassic 2 737

vote type 1 738

Next

TOP COMMENTS

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

Comments

seb12992 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:06

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROFLCOPTER! LMAOTRAIN! LOLBUS!

coopert28 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:08

so just hand it to her through the window

missmeliss0309 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:56

buy her the book, "Everyone Poops" She'll love it.

insomniac_855 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 22:06

^ LMFAO BUSTED

monicaisloco 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 4:33

You deserved it, only because obviously you didn't walk the girl to the door, jerk.

xiras 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 6:10

you are my hero

sillybee123 0

Monday 13 July 2009 2:11

This happens in the movie "Just Friends" with Ryan Reynolds!

zomgwhy 0

Monday 13 July 2009 15:51

LOL your my hero

helios_rex 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:55

Now, this is a real FML! Funny shit!!!

lalala645 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 1:26

even if she did smell it, she should b thankful tht u were being polite and waited till she left to fart.

1
2
3
4
5

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

agreeclassic 24 033

vote type 1 2 319

Today, I found rodent droppings in my bed, inches away from where my pillow is. I spend almost 99% of my time in my room and I never once heard or saw any signs of a rodent. FML

agreeclassic 959

vote type 1 132

Today, I realized my boyfriend never argues with me when I'm right, but goes to great lengths when I'm not. As a result, in the five years we've been together, he has won every single argument we ever had. FML

agreeclassic 328

vote type 1 1 849

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

agreeclassic 1 769

vote type 1 301

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

agreeclassic 1 350

vote type 1 231

Today, I found out that my promotion had been rescinded and given to someone else, all because I was on a pre-approved vacation. According to my boss, they need someone who's "committed to the company" for the position, and gave me a lecture on how if I keep being "lazy" and "unmotivated" I'll never get ahead. FML

agreeclassic 1 155

vote type 1 116