Death and Animals: Life's a beach - FML

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

agreeclassic 48 942

vote type 1 7 109

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By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

agreeclassic 30 648

vote type 1 8 646

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

agreeclassic 33 835

vote type 1 6 334

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

agreeclassic 33 866

vote type 1 3 611

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

agreeclassic 44 852

vote type 1 5 049

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

agreeclassic 1 173

vote type 1 96

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

agreeclassic 50 010

vote type 1 18 164

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

agreeclassic 573

vote type 1 180

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

agreeclassic 38 758

vote type 1 13 006

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

agreeclassic 30 670

vote type 1 3 174

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

agreeclassic 62 041

vote type 1 32 542

Next

TOP COMMENTS

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

samtheman1028 1

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:31

Since when are there logs in beaches?

doglover339 4

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:34

What the crap?!??!???!? I would have fainted!

miami_bb6 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 2:51

Bar b q anyone????

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:25

Surprise!

DriizztD 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:56

What a bad " club "

nickyz85 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:57

any body thinking what i am sounds like on hell of a bar b q

perdix 29

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:58

"We're never gonna survive Unless We get a little Crazy" Ooops! Wrong Seal. I'll bet you're never going to be able to listen to that song again without recalling the scent of the dead "log" you sat on.

L3g4lPl4typus 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 4:00

looks like you just missed some good clubbing

TrollerTrollsYou 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:20

Wow

TrollerTrollsYou 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:20

Wow

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Today, I found out that my sister, who is 16 years older than me, is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

agreeclassic 192 666

vote type 1 10 025

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

agreeclassic 29 210

vote type 1 2 509

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

agreeclassic 80 761

vote type 1 6 428

Today, the guy I liked broke things off with me because he needed time to work on himself, and heal from his recent break up. I went on Instagram to find him reading a poem to his ex about how he wants to worship her body. FML

agreeclassic 1 007

vote type 1 133

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

agreeclassic 48 158

vote type 1 5 079

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

agreeclassic 43 365

vote type 1 7 140