Health, Poopoo peepee, Accident, Bikes and Motorbike: I need a wipe!

I need a wipe!

By Not funnu - 23/10/2022 04:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

agreeclassic 893

vote type 1 265

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End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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How could you be so heartless?

By Bruh - 11/08/2025 08:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML

agreeclassic 523

vote type 1 63

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 18:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML

agreeclassic 831

vote type 1 149

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 05:08 - United States - Surprise

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

agreeclassic 26 812

vote type 1 1 910

By broken - 02/09/2009 09:45 - Australia

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

agreeclassic 53 416

vote type 1 10 245

By Anonymous - 25/09/2018 07:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I'm recovering from a bad motorcycle crash that could have cost me my life. A truck pulled out in front of me while going 60. Luckily I only have a broken arm and a fractured sternum. I was just notified by my attorney that the guy at fault has no insurance or assets to his name. FML

agreeclassic 3 524

vote type 1 240

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

agreeclassic 212

vote type 1 2 216

By GuessImWalking - 13/05/2017 16:00

Today, I found out I will be without a car for two weeks because my mother volunteered to let my grandparents use mine while theirs is being repaired. They've been in 4 accidents over the last year. FML

agreeclassic 5 975

vote type 1 420

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

agreeclassic 1 133

vote type 1 106

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

agreeclassic 35 469

vote type 1 14 447

By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down - 07/11/2017 05:00

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

agreeclassic 4 640

vote type 1 292

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 October 2022 15:30

So which one typed this for you?

mccuish 25

Sunday 23 October 2022 10:11

Start of a bad porno

Comments

mccuish 25

Sunday 23 October 2022 10:11

Start of a bad porno

jforhan 12

Sunday 23 October 2022 15:06

Thinking the same thing. Sounds like. **** Hub script. 🤣

jforhan 12

Sunday 23 October 2022 15:06

Thinking the same thing. Sounds like. PH storyline

jforhan 12

Sunday 23 October 2022 15:07

Yup, PH storyline for sure

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 October 2022 15:30

So which one typed this for you?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

agreeclassic 22 304

vote type 1 9 757

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

agreeclassic 37 291

vote type 1 13 126

Today, while standing in line to get my driver's license renewed, I hiccuped and burped at the same time. I was so flustered that I ended up telling an entire room full of people that I had the 'herps'. FML

agreeclassic 4 151

vote type 1 779

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

agreeclassic 22 069

vote type 1 1 616

Today, I wore a coat that was too tight. The button gave way and quickly flew about ten feet to hit my very attractive new coworker right in the ass. FML

agreeclassic 3 870

vote type 1 982

Today, I was chatting with a guy on a dating site. He accused me of being a liar and trying to catfish him after I told him I like my steak medium-rare. According to him, that can’t possibly be true because black people only eat their steaks well done. No exceptions. What an idiot. FML

agreeclassic 2 189

vote type 1 252

I need a wipe!

Similar FMLs

How could you be so heartless?

No good deed…

McSteamy

My little boy

Two in one

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