Today, in order to look nice for a date, I tried the new blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush. I couldn't get all the blue. FML
Today, the device I bought to gradually stretch my penis longer arrived in the mail. I'm too small to get it to stay on. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML
Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of a year is talking to another woman on Instagram. When I go to bed, he talks to her until 2-3am, and while I’m at work too, all day long. Their conversations are friendly, but he seems more enthusiastic with her than me. This explains why he doesn’t feature me in his stories and posts. FML
Today, I realized that after years of watching Hentai I can only ejaculate while hearing Anime voices. FML
never test something right before a date. you never kow how cheap it is and its always hard to get rid of cheaply made things. Just brush well.
Isn't that stuff for little kids...?