Love, Intimacy, Health and Sex: Getting dryer

Getting dryer

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Ironwood

Today, I (32F) tried to break a two month dry spell with my boyfriend of five years. He pointed out a cold sore on my lip. I never got cold sores before I met him. FML

agreeclassic 420

vote type 1 126

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

agreeclassic 40 184

vote type 1 2 933

New morning routine just dropped

By Mel - 23/04/2023 12:00 - United States - Miami Beach

Today, I realized why I've developed painful, flaky, dry patches above my upper lip. It's from kissing my new boyfriend, whose facial hair irritates my skin. He really dislikes how he looks without it, so my best option might be to just stop kissing him. FML

agreeclassic 730

vote type 1 158

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

agreeclassic 45 048

vote type 1 5 104

By stachattack - 23/12/2017 15:00

Today, I reassured everyone at work that the mark on my lip was just a pimple, not a cold sore. It's actually neither. I, a 21-year-old young woman, slipped while shaving my moustache and sliced off part of my lip. FML

agreeclassic 3 926

vote type 1 642

Last Week Tonight

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 02:00

Today, I realised I had a bad month. Last week, I threw out my back; the week before, my girlfriend got a cold sore; this week, I got chickenpox at the ripe age of 31 years. When I went to bed last night, I found my girlfriend sound asleep with her vibrator in one hand. We haven't had sex for so long, I can't even blame her. FML

agreeclassic 1 095

vote type 1 266

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

agreeclassic 45 643

vote type 1 9 028

By lowlife123 - 01/05/2012 03:01 - United States - Manawa

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

agreeclassic 43 997

vote type 1 7 446

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

agreeclassic 30 049

vote type 1 4 189

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

agreeclassic 7 046

vote type 1 631

Wrap it

By Anonymous - 09/07/2020 20:02

Today, my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for a year, decided to tell me that he has herpes and has not taken any precautions to stop it from passing on. We have had unprotected sex quite a lot over the last year, so now I most likely have herpes too. FML

agreeclassic 2 363

vote type 1 545

Nikki 17

Sunday 12 January 2025 5:55

Sounds like he gave you herpes

Comments

Nikki 17

Sunday 12 January 2025 5:55

Sounds like he gave you herpes

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

agreeclassic 9 256

vote type 1 27 639

Today, I'm ending a 35 year marriage. In the last few months, my husband has told me that he has been preferring porn to me since before we were married, he has had multiple affairs, he always knew his family was toxic and messing with me. Oh, and he wants us to, "Move on and have a happy retirement together." FML

agreeclassic 527

vote type 1 156

Today, I couldn’t solve my 10 year-old daughter's math problem. FML

agreeclassic 354

vote type 1 84

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML

agreeclassic 40 748

vote type 1 4 111

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

agreeclassic 42 591

vote type 1 11 325

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

agreeclassic 35 327

vote type 1 2 197