Kids, Crime, Weird and Parents: Elaborate backstory

Elaborate backstory

By lordoftheweird - 05/06/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I found out both my parents are career criminals. My dad expects me to join the "family business" and my mom has decided that they'll "never get her alive." FML

agreeclassic 532

vote type 1 100

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Similar FMLs

Scheming

By lordoftheweird - 08/02/2025 13:00 - Canada

Today, I found out my parents' entire marriage was a convoluted scheme to get them both permanently unfit to stand trial. I am genuinely scared to find out what they have planned. FML

agreeclassic 417

vote type 1 87

Bizarre Love Triangle

By awkward - 27/02/2011 12:39 - Finland

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

agreeclassic 52 845

vote type 1 4 078

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

agreeclassic 980

vote type 1 277

By kennedygeeee - 08/09/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

agreeclassic 61 303

vote type 1 2 650

By lawman - 15/08/2013 13:34 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

agreeclassic 54 795

vote type 1 3 549

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

agreeclassic 41 214

vote type 1 3 161

By mymomsstupid - 29/06/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

agreeclassic 45 192

vote type 1 3 742

Great parenting skills

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 08:00

Today, I borrowed my adopted mom's laptop and found out that either her, my dad, or both of them, have been trying to research legal ways of un-adopting me and giving me back to the foster care system. FML

agreeclassic 1 111

vote type 1 132

Piss off

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

agreeclassic 1 074

vote type 1 1 126

By CT - 25/11/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

agreeclassic 34 816

vote type 1 2 299

Wadlaen 23

Thursday 6 June 2024 0:26

Sounds like this could be a good action comedy! Good luck!

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 10 June 2024 4:33

Are your parents Randy and Evi Quaid?

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Thursday 6 June 2024 0:26

Sounds like this could be a good action comedy! Good luck!

Chazzster 29

Thursday 6 June 2024 22:40

Birth is not the same as fate. Get the hell out of there as soon as you can before the whole house of cards comes tumbling down.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 10 June 2024 4:33

Are your parents Randy and Evi Quaid?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

agreeclassic 28 458

vote type 1 4 859

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

agreeclassic 55 597

vote type 1 6 640

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

agreeclassic 537

vote type 1 192

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

agreeclassic 25 194

vote type 1 1 456

Today, I'm 6 months pregnant with my first child and excited. My brother and his girlfriend announced they're getting married… on my due date. They refuse to change the date. FML

agreeclassic 1 364

vote type 1 218

Today, after I sent my daughter to her best friend's house for a week, who lives three hours away, her friend's mom got really sick half way through. My daughter came home early because the mom was too sick. Now my daughter isn't feeling well and I just found the mom has the flu. FML

agreeclassic 503

vote type 1 129