Miscellaneous: Corny jokes - FML

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

agreeclassic 51 356

vote type 1 12 710

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

agreeclassic 25 829

vote type 1 2 561

By Anonymous - 16/02/2013 00:39 - Italy - Milan

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

agreeclassic 39 825

vote type 1 3 781

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

agreeclassic 52 199

vote type 1 7 699

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

agreeclassic 379

vote type 1 104

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

agreeclassic 29 274

vote type 1 3 695

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

agreeclassic 61

vote type 1 2 046

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

agreeclassic 1 589

vote type 1 183

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

agreeclassic 58 237

vote type 1 10 898

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

agreeclassic 33 503

vote type 1 2 852

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 182

vote type 1 3 838

Next

TOP COMMENTS

MrGlad 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:44

Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...

Pb_lily 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.

Comments

pshyerface 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 0:08

Ahaha. My mom would do the sameee thing. xD

lukeskates 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 22:59

LOL

boroprincess18 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 18:08

Hahahaha that's so cool! You have an awesome mom!

hypergal 1

Monday 11 January 2010 5:33

damn I wish my mom was like that!!

williamburrows2 0

Friday 29 January 2010 7:46

Your mom is awesome.

zolltf 4

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:53

This should be on MLIA, not FML.

ilikepie789 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 4:17

lol i always say that ur moms cool

MDNL 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 1:50

wow ur moms immature. fyl

EpicFail985 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 0:06

This should be on mila not fml

EpicFail985 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 0:08

This should be on mila not fml

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Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

agreeclassic 45 870

vote type 1 168 681

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

agreeclassic 48 712

vote type 1 3 823

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

agreeclassic 37 236

vote type 1 3 253

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

agreeclassic 36 652

vote type 1 5 246

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

agreeclassic 37 780

vote type 1 3 217

Today, a friend told me he thought I was hot and we ended up having lunch together. I like him and we’ve already arranged a second date, but when I mentioned this to someone else, she got pretty upset. Turns out she liked me and had been dropping hints for a while. No clue what’ll happen to my friendship with her… FML

agreeclassic 439

vote type 1 165