Miscellaneous: Clapback

Clapback

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 11:00 - Australia

Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML

agreeclassic 140

vote type 1 401

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Doesn't add up

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 05:02

Today, my coworker asked me to add her on Facebook. She has a common name, so I picked the one I thought was her. After no response for a while, I asked for the right spelling. She saw the one I thought was her and said, “I can’t believe you thought I was that ugly.” She wasn't joking. FML

agreeclassic 740

vote type 1 222

Smooth

By Chad - 27/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

agreeclassic 126

vote type 1 600

Been there, done that

By Christine - 30/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

agreeclassic 399

vote type 1 116

Clocked

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 16:54

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

agreeclassic 1 522

vote type 1 170

Bad date

By Dammit Brain - 22/10/2020 20:02 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I went on a lunch date with a guy I used to work with. When the conversation got dry, I asked him if he went by “Chris” or “Christopher” these days. His name is Daniel. My brain knew my mistake as I said it. Just when I thought the silence couldn’t get more awkward. FML

agreeclassic 739

vote type 1 457

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 05:52 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

agreeclassic 36 167

vote type 1 4 938

What's my name again?

By Lauren - 18/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML

agreeclassic 349

vote type 1 116

Kids these days, no respect…

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 01:00 - United States - Chippewa Falls

Today, my friends and I had planned to meet up. One of the friends, Mike, decided to pick me up on the way. Mike called first to let me know, and his kids overheard us and I heard them ask him where he was going. Mike jokingly replied, "To pick up my ugly friend." His kids ask if it was [my name]? We laughed, but damn… FML

agreeclassic 749

vote type 1 132

Thanks, I hate it!

By ugly - 14/11/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML

agreeclassic 35 736

vote type 1 3 530

By to_complicated_4_u - 04/05/2015 16:28 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

agreeclassic 35 211

vote type 1 2 757

DLBL 20

Saturday 14 June 2025 3:15

So, she's got no sense of fun. Forget her.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 15 June 2025 0:48

Liking the arrogance, fella. You do you.

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DLBL 20

Saturday 14 June 2025 3:15

So, she's got no sense of fun. Forget her.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 15 June 2025 0:48

Liking the arrogance, fella. You do you.

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Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML

agreeclassic 579

vote type 1 77

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

agreeclassic 23 843

vote type 1 2 410

Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML

agreeclassic 522

vote type 1 109

Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML

agreeclassic 6 206

vote type 1 535

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

agreeclassic 41 384

vote type 1 7 309

Today, I flew from Texas to meet my new girlfriend's family in Georgia. Turns out her sister was a random hookup I had a year earlier on a business trip, she remembered me as the douchebag with premature ejaculation. Guess who’s flying home single? FML

agreeclassic 1 178

vote type 1 2 040

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