Miscellaneous: Check these bad boys out - FML

Check these bad boys out

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:57 - Australia

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

agreeclassic 16 370

vote type 1 40 193

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

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By milkshake - 23/01/2013 00:29 - United States - Pasadena

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

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By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

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What are you doing?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

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Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

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Ethics in medecine

By Savannah - 07/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML

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By donuts678 - 16/08/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

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Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 18 016

vote type 1 54 729

Look up here

By Cody - 06/07/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

agreeclassic 14 943

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By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

agreeclassic 45 057

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

faildood 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 16:42

if your GM is a guy..expect a pay raise

XOfiestypixie 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 17:01

They're from Australia, silly. Why would they go to the US when Thailand is so much closer?

Comments

Bethanynel813 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 6:13

#71.... that's creepy

kalixzo 11

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:59

At least you got to touch her ****... :)

ZleveL 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 2:08

HAHAHA

kykyshay 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 17:59

Perv

maseybear_RAWR 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 23:38

whats wrong with that?(:

funalot670 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 3:56

thats hot!!!

Drummerboy1234 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 17:55

if that happened to me, I'd go out and buy a lottery ticket right then.

randii3660 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 23:02

Hahaa woww! What did your GM say

geordielass 4

Monday 26 December 2011 22:57

I done this when I got mine done but my mam walked in....awkward

rulingtomax 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:16

That's between FYL if he fired you and YDI because you were doing it

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Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 16 488

vote type 1 56 352

Today, some idiot with a #saveourchildren shirt followed me around a store. When I finally asked the fucker what their problem was, they started screaming, asking why I was holding hands with black children that obviously didn’t belong to me. I’m white. Their mom is black. They’re my kids. FML

agreeclassic 2 233

vote type 1 148

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 34 656

vote type 1 2 245

Today, I walked out of my platonic coworker's office, after he got my lunch order wrong. My exit line? “Get your creamy pork sausage out of my taco.” The entire bullpen started hooting and hollering. FML

agreeclassic 282

vote type 1 1 281

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

agreeclassic 1 011

vote type 1 318

Today, I asked if my psychiatrist would test me for autism, as I believe I may have it. His response? "You probably don't. Stay off social media once in a while." Well fuck me for wanting a professional opinion I guess. FML

agreeclassic 511

vote type 1 729