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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML?

Feel like sharing it with the other users of FML?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story passes through the moderation process, it will published in the next 24 hours.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Calculating Tax and Tip

    By FML Approved - 11/10/2017 03:00

    Math is hard.
    agreeclassic 497
    vote type 1 140
    Share  
    End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
    End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…
    Previous FML Next FML

    TOP COMMENTS

    Donut_Wizard 23
    Wednesday 11 October 2017 3:20

    There's an app for that.

    0 0

    Comments

    Donut_Wizard 23
    Wednesday 11 October 2017 3:20

    There's an app for that.

    0 0
    • 1
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML
    agreeclassic 2 060
    vote type 1 172
    Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML
    agreeclassic 32 140
    vote type 1 5 657
    Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
    agreeclassic 30 146
    vote type 1 3 727
    Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
    agreeclassic 38 385
    vote type 1 13 723
    Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML
    agreeclassic 30 518
    vote type 1 2 171
    Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
    agreeclassic 14 900
    vote type 1 49 706
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