Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 883 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 142 You deserved it 7 046
Today, my boss insisted we need to "do team bonding" so the deal was we all go bowling. I couldn't give a shit if they live or die, so ended up telling them I had COVID, just so I couldn't attend. Stick me on a desert island on my own and I'm in Utopia. FML I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 672
Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 363 You deserved it 19 729
Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 809 You deserved it 3 256
Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 110 You deserved it 888
Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 477 You deserved it 10 311
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.