Bad hair day By Faithy - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML agreeclassic 9 918 vote type 1 49 033 Share Tweet Share
Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML agreeclassic 53 678 vote type 1 2 505
Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML agreeclassic 431 vote type 1 700
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML agreeclassic 40 049 vote type 1 7 695
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML agreeclassic 411 vote type 1 133
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML agreeclassic 36 369 vote type 1 4 220
Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML agreeclassic 25 235 vote type 1 2 759
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)