Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 11/04/2016 13:33 - United States - Hamlin

Today, I'm moving out of my ex-boyfriends house. Everything was fine considering we ended on good terms. Until I found out that he has been lying to me our entire relationship. Now I'm stuck between wanting to confront him or keeping the peace for the sake of our 3 month old daughter. FML

Opheliae - 11/04/2016 13:27 - United States - Rochester

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend tweeted a series of nonsensical tweets about me completely out of the blue, including accusations that I stalk his new girlfriend and recently tried to infect him with STDs in an attempt to break them up. I haven't seen him in 2 years and he lives 800 miles away. FML

imaginaryboygirlfriend - 11/04/2016 13:22 - South Africa

Today, rather than admitting my boyfriend is a girlfriend when someone asked me to see a picture, I ended up saying I have a fake boyfriend. Fml.

Anon - 11/04/2016 13:17 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my mom told her bookclub that I'm a drug addict. When i confronted her, she said she lied because I'm boring and she just wanted an interesting story. My boyfriend's mom is in her bookclub. Fml.

gaayyyyy - 11/04/2016 13:12 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, in an effort to be supportive, my mom posted on facebook how she supports me and my girlfriend's gay relationship,tagging us both. My girlfriend hasn't told her parents yet, and yes, she has them on facebook. Fml

hellno - 11/04/2016 13:02 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my housemate's pregnant girlfriend moved in with us. She's also the girl who dumped me for him. Only 6 months left on the lease. Fml.

cacheson - 11/04/2016 12:45 - United States

Today, after almost a year of planning, my fiancé informed me he will not be moving with me to my home state 3,000 miles away after all. I now have the choice of living in a place I hate forever, or dumping the love of my life. FML

TheAspieDork - 11/04/2016 12:41 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my mom gave me an uncomfortable lecture, telling me how my interest in literally anything related to video games combined with my lack of close friends makes her think she failed as a parent. I never got to play video games as a kid, which likely contributed to major social isolation. FML

ok - 11/04/2016 12:41 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my best friend is getting a divorce and moving back in with me (after 10 months), because he "didn't know living with someone would be so tough." Fml.

StillAliveButImBarelyBreathing - 11/04/2016 12:36 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, despite having been diagnosed by a doctor and suffering two major asthma attacks in the last week, my mother refuses to get me an inhaler because, according to her, my breathing problems are caused by the "extra weight" on my chest. FML

Replaced - 11/04/2016 12:36 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today I got a call from work while lying in my hospital bed. The woman I had replaced when hired a few months back, was back in the country and 'filling in' while I'm unable to work. Fml

Punkd? - 11/04/2016 12:30 - South Africa

Today, my friends played a prank on me. They told me the new guy's mom was an Olympic runner. As an avid sports person, I later asked him about it. His mom is not an Olympic runner. His mom can't run. In fact, his mom is paralyzed and has been in a wheelchair for 20 years. Fml.

cacheson - 11/04/2016 12:26 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was turned on by coloring in my clitoris with a washable marker while my childhood toys watched. When I woke up, ready to get it on with my boyfriend, I suddenly realized how creepy it was and lost the feeling immediately. I think there's something wrong with me. FML

FootInMouth - 11/04/2016 12:25 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I helped a new friend with something, and jokingly said "How would you survive without your mom?" He told me she died when he was a baby. He wasn't kidding. Fml.

animalsarelife - 11/04/2016 12:24 - United States - Springdale

Today, I thought I squished a spider. I was about to take a math test and I reached for my calculator. I felt something on my hand and it was the spider. I screamed and failed my arms and ended up hitting the professor. the spider was a centimeter big. I'm the quarterback of our football team. FML

wrongkid - 11/04/2016 12:20 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after a good natured argument with my mom about which burger is better at McDonalds, I found out I was adopted, oh and that she picked the wrong kid. Because of a burger? Fml.

TheDumbOne - 11/04/2016 12:15 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I told my mom that I graduated in the top 5% of the country for a board exam after passing my honours degree in accounting. Her response? "I guess I should stop telling everyone your sister is the smart one." My sister is 32 with no matric or ambitions. Fml.

Gagggg - 11/04/2016 12:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my gran's dogs aren't fixed, so while the one female was walking around, the other was walking behind her licking up the blood. I vomited, and before I could stop her, she licked up some of my vomit too. Not sure i'm a dog person anymore. Fml.

25andgrounded - 11/04/2016 11:58 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my mom tried to ground me for getting a dog. Which would be fine if I didnt have my own house, or if i wasnt 25 and married. Fml.

beestingsandblowjobs - 11/04/2016 11:53 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my husband had a bee fly up his pants leg as we left a restuarant. He dropped his pants in a panic and I got on my knees to get the stinger out of his thigh... And then realized how it looked since no one else could see the bee...fml.

Heartbroken Girl - 11/04/2016 11:48 - Australia - Brunswick West

Today, after many weeks of mental preparation, I had worked up the courage to ask out my crush, turns out someone beat me to it, FML.

Almosthadit - 11/04/2016 11:47 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I had to turn down the guy I like, because I am my best friend's 'beard' so that his family doesn't know he is gay. Fml.

Flatbroke - 11/04/2016 11:42 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after years of supporting my boyfriend financially through his studies, and agreeing to support me when it was my turn, he told me he wouldn't be financially supporting me, as I needed to learn how to "independently manage my finances." All of my savings just paid for his degree. Fml.

john - 11/04/2016 10:39 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, I found out my girlfriend of two years cheated on me with a 32 year old dude, we are both 19 , FML

Kallian - 11/04/2016 10:33 - Australia - Hawker

Today, while working in a nursery, I noticed one of the babies about to fall off his chair. I instinctively dropped what I was carrying and dove forward to catch him. Too bad I was carrying another baby. FML

George_Demian_Gr - 11/04/2016 10:25 - Croatia

Today, I've been on my new job as a sales agent for almost a week - my trial period to conclude whether me or my facebook-on-job, procrastinating colleague will get an employment. I need a lot of money to pay my college. She managed to make a sale. I didn't. Guess who's getting fired tommorow. FML

droppingout - 11/04/2016 10:05 - United States - Richmond

Today, I had worked on a research paper for months that was due at midnight. It was worth more than half my grade. I decided since I got off at 9 I would review it and then submit it. Guess who the managers didn't let go home until it was 3 in the morning. FML

Anonymous - 11/04/2016 09:37 - United States - Seattle

Today, I woke up in bed next to my boss. I don't know what's worse the fact that I was the only person he's had sex with besides a stripper, that it was terrible, or that I still have to continue to work with him multiple times a week. FML.

Almost Oedipus - 11/04/2016 09:17 - United States - Phelan

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone with her best friend, wishing I wasn't her son. What I thought at first was an implication that she was disappointed in me eventually resulted in detailed, and extremely disturbing dialogue revealing that my own mother has a complex for me. FML

tricked - 11/04/2016 09:05 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I paid an "experienced essay writer" from Craigslist $180 to write me a 5 page essay for my university course. She submitted it to me late and it was so lousy that I only got 40%. FML.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

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Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

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Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

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Today, we went to a nice place by a river to have a BBQ. Someone then asked if we could move the fireplace somewhere else, so we went to check another spot. We came back to find a dog had eaten all the meat we'd brought. FML

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Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

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Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML

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