Your everyday life stories

bb - 14/04/2016 12:09 - United States

Today, my boss forced me to go back into work to close after I'd already opened the store. I had only an hour to do everything that should have been done in the 5 hours the other person was here. Then as I was leaving I back my fiancés pickup into another car. FML

Texas54321 - 14/04/2016 10:28 - United States - Temple

Today, my ex-girlfriend whom I have not spoken to in 5 months, showed up at my house randomly. Turns out she's about 6 months pregnant and I'm gonna be a daddy a lot sooner then I expected..yay me..FML.

ThatsNotMyName - 14/04/2016 09:14 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, is the third time since my boyfriend and I have been dating, that one of his family members has called me Janine. My name is Jess. Janine is his ex. FML.

wasitthatbad - 14/04/2016 09:04 - United States - Medford

Today, I finally gave in and had sex with this guy I really like. My fear came true when he wasn't responding to any texts for a couple days. Turns out he's gone to Germany and won't be back for 3 years. FML

confused_wandere - 14/04/2016 08:52 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I fell asleep on my couch. When I woke up, I saw that someone had thrown a blanket over me. I live alone. FML

skunkstripes - 14/04/2016 08:26 - Australia

Today at work, I managed to jam the toilet door shut and had to wait for the supervisor to rescue me from the bathroom. Then I managed to slip on the floor and hurt my back. It would've been fine had I not be recovering from a spinal fracture. FML

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 07:59 - Australia - Frankston

Today, I entered the fifth week of being ignored by my parents and brother. Any attempts to start a conversation are shut down with a swiftly closed door, or suggestion I return to my room and leave them alone. Apparently choosing to study as a vet instead of a doctor is an unforgivable offence. FML

hyphen - 14/04/2016 07:56 - United States - Eugene

Today, my blind Girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me, her reasoning "my face feels ugly." FML

A large dude - 14/04/2016 07:37 - United Kingdom - Hereford

Today, I helped a family move their stuff into their new home after I helped in packing up the previous resident's belongings. After carrying 2 dozen 40kg boxes up and down the stairs, the father of the family remarked "Heh, you might lose some of that weight!". I got called fat by a stranger. FML

rikkirauha - 14/04/2016 07:11 - United States - Cypress

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he claimed I'm too obsessive and clingy, always trying to do what he does. How? Our birthdays are on the same day. FML

HylianBadger - 14/04/2016 07:09 - United States

Today, I was called a sick fuck by a person who proudly states on her Facebook profile on a regular basis that she is sexually attracted to pineapples. Why? Because I support gay marriage. Fml

JW3 - 14/04/2016 06:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I got home early from my 2 years of Peace Corps service in order to go to a friend's wedding. Too bad her psycho fiance thinks I wronged him back in college so he refuses to let me attend. So glad I left my rewarding work early so that I could be rejected by a fuckwit who never graduated. FML

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 06:33 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, the guy I like came up to me at my locker and started talking to me. We got along great and I was flirting like crazy, but by the end of the conversation, he asked me for advice on how to ask out my best friend. I should've seen it coming. FML

awkwardsituation - 14/04/2016 06:20

Today,while we were doing it on my boyfriend's couch,I got so excited that I accidentally kicked him off the couch. He hit his head on a table and passed out,naked. I had to awkwardly explain the scene to his parents. FML.

pukepee - 14/04/2016 06:16 - United States

Today, I vomited so hard I peed my pants. My fiancé just laughed. FML

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 06:05 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my dad and I gave my mom tickets to see the long island medium. The tickets were expensive and a pain in the ass to get, my dad tells my mom that I did all the leg work to get her these tickets and she hugged and thanked him for the tickets. FML

Oskar - 14/04/2016 05:33 - Germany

Today,someone standing on the sidewalk tried to throw a rock at my car.Luckily he missed,it flew across the street and hit my mom's bmw.She blames me for not blocking the rock with my cheap ass car.FML

aesthetic_007 - 14/04/2016 05:31 - United States - Savannah

Today, I was taking some sexy pictures for my husband, completely nude. When I was going back through them I realized my blinds were open and at least two people walked by and possibly saw. FML.

badjudgement - 14/04/2016 05:27 - United States - Vernon Hills

Today, while at the gym with my dad, I talked to him in Russian about my erectile problems. The only person around was an Asian man whom I assumed wouldn't know what we were talking about. It was only after he introduced himself that I realized he was from the southern USSR and understood each word.

mylonius - 14/04/2016 05:19 - United States - Fergus Falls

Today, an elderly customer at work told me that my brown eyes made me look like a "handsome, young gentleman." After I thanked him for the compliment, he closed his eyes and leaned over to kiss me. FML

Aweirdcat - 14/04/2016 05:11 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my cat brought a mouse up to my room while I was sleeping, and then started to play with it on my floor. I woke up and saw him, not realizing he had a mouse, until it ran away from him. He caught it again and then let it go, doing this multiple times. FML

#notdeodorant - 14/04/2016 04:58 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, I came home from a friends house to find out that my 15 year old sister had found my vibrator to only tell my mum who told me she sniffed it because she thought it was a deodorant stick, FML.

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 04:44 - United States - Juneau

So in class today a cop came in and showed us a slideshow of drugs, what they do to people, how those people act, etc. A picture of a man on bath salts eating a mans face showed and the girl behind me projectile vomited down my back...fml

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 04:38 - United States - Merced

Today, My grandpa owed me $25 for working with him. I went over to my grandparents house to get it from my grandpa and when I went over there he gave me $9 and said "get better at working." FML

anonymous - 14/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, my fear of rejection resulted in me being told no to a date in my own dream. It happened yesterday too. FML

roadhead - 14/04/2016 04:30 - United States - Murrells Inlet

Today, my boyfriend asked me to give him road head on our road trip to Cali. He told me he saw another couple doing it in the same car we own, so it must be fate. When I refused he threatened to break up with me. Whoever was giving road head in a silver Mazda, fuck you. FML.

TammyD7 - 14/04/2016 04:21

Today, a 7th grade student threatened to get me fired because I told him that he is not a genius and he needs to work on his math. FML

jackothee - 14/04/2016 04:11 - United States - Winter Haven

Today, my mom accused me of smoking pot in my room. All I've done is burn the candle she bought me. I haven't touched weed in months. FML.

srsly btchz - 14/04/2016 04:08 - United States - Norwalk

Today, our new neighbors downstairs made a noise complaint about us making 'lots of noise'. Funny, they're the ones that have a kid playing drums at 11 o' clock at night and had 40 kids over a while back for a birthday party. Since when do two people make more noise than 40 people. Hypocrites. FML

Anonymous - 14/04/2016 04:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, as everyday, I hate my job to the point where I am depressed from working there. I've been applying for other jobs, but the economy is so bad, I can't get another. I can't leave because I am the main provider for my household. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out why my boyfriend takes so long in the bathroom. Apparently he has a system for shitting he’s very OCD about: he has to be naked in case poo touches any of his clothes, he has to wipe stood up with one leg elevated, and the whole process takes 10x longer than it should. FFS! FML

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Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML

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Today, I was trying to compliment a colleague on her new hairstyle. I said, "I love how you did your hair today, it makes you look so mature!" She didn't take it as a compliment. FML

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Today, I attended a work interview. My hay fever has been flaring up during the hot weather, causing my throat to swell up and make me short of breath, which I explained. The woman interviewing me told me I was unsuccessful, as customers wouldn't be able to understand someone with my 'disability'. FML

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Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

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Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

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