Work

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

agreeclassic 44 991

vote type 1 4 356

By librarygirl - 13/08/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

agreeclassic 12 188

vote type 1 41 856

By d.stack - 12/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

agreeclassic 55 794

vote type 1 3 993

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

agreeclassic 58 796

vote type 1 7 935

Uncomfortable

By maidmyday - 12/08/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

agreeclassic 57 220

vote type 1 7 760

By doctorchick - 12/08/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

agreeclassic 69 321

vote type 1 3 057

By FedExMan - 11/08/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

agreeclassic 41 730

vote type 1 2 632

By aw-wtf - 11/08/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

agreeclassic 71 278

vote type 1 3 883

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 12:17 - Australia

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

agreeclassic 47 727

vote type 1 14 743

Score!

By zwillywilly - 10/08/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

agreeclassic 12 573

vote type 1 50 608

You swam into that one

By ugh.. - 09/08/2009 15:27 - United States

Today, while working at my lifeguard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and yelled, "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

agreeclassic 53 512

vote type 1 21 443

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 13 562

vote type 1 69 064

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 07:02 - United States

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

agreeclassic 17 053

vote type 1 55 264

By ilikemusicokay - 08/08/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

agreeclassic 12 597

vote type 1 46 621

Sharing is caring

By goin4broke - 07/08/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

agreeclassic 65 036

vote type 1 6 970

Accusations

By cosmonaut - 07/08/2009 09:18 - New Zealand

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

agreeclassic 7 898

vote type 1 71 475

Graveyard remix

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

agreeclassic 44 608

vote type 1 7 485

Is this a joke to you?

By smiletellsall - 06/08/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

agreeclassic 67 408

vote type 1 3 140

Rash decision

By caiti - 06/08/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

agreeclassic 47 383

vote type 1 4 462

By TMI - 05/08/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

agreeclassic 42 665

vote type 1 6 401

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

agreeclassic 18 541

vote type 1 39 466

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 18:33 - United States

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

agreeclassic 58 453

vote type 1 7 037

By Azcrazy - 03/08/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She's been there all day. FML

agreeclassic 50 514

vote type 1 4 017

By MickeyDManager - 03/08/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

agreeclassic 44 687

vote type 1 39 209

Tactical

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

agreeclassic 55 105

vote type 1 3 943

By waiterrrrrrrrr - 02/08/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

agreeclassic 45 845

vote type 1 7 003

By aatomkins - 02/08/2009 15:52 - United Kingdom

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

agreeclassic 53 330

vote type 1 3 775

aatomkins app_comment_confession_title

aatomkins 0

Monday 3 August 2009 0:43

This isn't your average chore, I do those for free. No allowance, just a hourly rate for the hardcore jobs.

Nice try

By bigmouth - 02/08/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

agreeclassic 12 815

vote type 1 76 306

Bro code

By Forgotton - 01/08/2009 23:10 - Canada

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

agreeclassic 49 901

vote type 1 3 366

By anonymouschicka - 01/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

agreeclassic 11 259

vote type 1 54 457

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

agreeclassic 23 130

vote type 1 2 617

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

agreeclassic 49 108

vote type 1 3 420

Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML

agreeclassic 1 777

vote type 1 192

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 1 760

vote type 1 364

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

agreeclassic 28 820

vote type 1 2 639

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

agreeclassic 31 101

vote type 1 2 869