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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Cops

    No escape

    By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States

    Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 316
    You deserved it 203 420
    Share  

    Stuck on Amber

    By River - 26/02/2009 16:17 - United States

    Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 18 242
    You deserved it 56 195
    Share  

    Creeped out

    By Godfree - 25/02/2009 06:19 - United States

    Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 44 125
    You deserved it 3 261
    Share  
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Friends Pranks Weird Embarrassing Music Bodyshaming Kids Healthy Lifestyle Health Allergies Annoying Work Messy Animals Dogs Cute Family Love ACAB Cops Food Intimacy Thief NSFW Sex Fight #FAFO Parents Sexism
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 351
    You deserved it 2 316
    Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 119
    You deserved it 2 635
    Today, after two weeks of believing that my extremely sick cat had escaped the house and ran away to die, I uncovered his lifeless body while deep cleaning my living room. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 808
    You deserved it 358
    Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 639
    You deserved it 2 870
    Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 058
    You deserved it 287 637
    Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 536
    You deserved it 8 111
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