Work Today, while working an evening shift at Walmart, I somehow managed... - FML

- 22/02/2017 16:03 - United States

Today, while working an evening shift at Walmart, I somehow managed to hit myself in the eye with cardboard. FML.

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

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Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

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Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

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Today, after keeping myself awake coughing for 2 hours, I finally drifted off. My cat apparently thought I'd died, and gave me CPR. Now I have claw marks on my chest, and I'm still awake. FML

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Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying, "That's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

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Today, at school, some kid I’ve never liked came up to me and said, to my face, "I’m really happy to hear about your mom." She died two weeks ago. FML

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Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

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