Love Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with my brother, both of whom... - FML

twitchtail - 27/02/2016 18:24 - United States - Brunswick

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with my brother, both of whom I previously thought were straight. Apparently not. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it's my second week of living with my ex. The first week or so, her brother's kid gave me and my kids a bacterial infection. I almost died, I swore to live in my car. I lasted 7 days of no real sleep, then ended up almost dying from heat-related illness. FML

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Today, I was taking a quiz online called "Do Your Friends Actually Like You?" I quit after two questions because I remembered I don't actually have any friends. FML

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Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

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Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML

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Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

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Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

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