Money Today I got a $237.50 ticket for an "offensive bumper sticker"... - FML

cplmadison - 23/04/2016 14:37 - United States - Battle Creek

Today I got a $237.50 ticket for an "offensive bumper sticker" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

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Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with men, and gets turned on by the sound of men moaning and having sex. I've been his girlfriend for 7 years. I've just been his cover up this whole time. FML

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Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

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Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

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Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

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