Anonymous - 13/04/2016 04:58 - United States - Dekalb Today, I discovered I pee myself when I orgasm. FML 3 1
Today, I thought the cashier said the new blouse I picked out was ugly as she was ringing me up. I'm really self-conscious about my fashion sense, so I snapped and started yelling at her. It wasn't until she was close to tears did I find out she said "lovely" not "ugly". So, that's another store I can't go back to. FML 190 3 015
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML 9 694 42 618
Today, my teenage stepdaughter wrecked her third car texting and driving. I’ve pleaded with my husband to stop buying her new ones and to revoke her driving privileges. He’s so desperate for her to love him that he’ll give her literally anything. I’m scared she’s going to get someone killed. FML 1 939 178
Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML 6 172 728
Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML 3 471 558
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML 7 443 72 454