Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML 29 220 2 722
Today, and since I moved into a new house, my neighbour has made it clear at least 10 times that if I wanted to come over for “coffee” she’s free any time her son isn’t visiting, and it will be the best “coffee” I’ve ever had. I’m 23. Her son is 50 and an angry giant. She is at least 80. FML 497 105
Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML 55 883 4 611
Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML 46 592 7 551
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML 51 652 17 220
Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML 12 837 29 791