OfficerRedgreen

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A propos de Officerredgreen

I don't know what to type here so I'm just going to continue tapping these keys in the correct order to produce letters on the screen that form words with which I can communicate....

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Officerredgreen's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

agreeclassic 52 311

vote type 1 9 393

By Cat vs. Dog - 28/04/2014 21:03 - United States - Laramie

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

agreeclassic 40 207

vote type 1 5 074

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

agreeclassic 47 351

vote type 1 4 017

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

agreeclassic 46 242

vote type 1 4 780

By BekkyLove15 - 19/05/2014 00:12 - United Kingdom - Liphook

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

agreeclassic 57 597

vote type 1 7 897

BekkyLove15 app_comment_confession_title

BekkyLove15 14

Monday 19 May 2014 18:15

Nope! He ripped the tweeds down before I even had a chance to get up and get to the other side of the table. He definitely knows the difference between right and wrong, and was spoken to VERY sternly when back in the car. Of course, the talking to May have been more successful if my 81 year old grandmother wasn't laughing so hard.