Selke

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Sunday 19 June 1983

Selke

The zombie apocalypse will take you all.

Selke -

Selke

lovers5201

CarolynAbr...

AngelVampi...

gobiteme2

Exaspera

BraidynJon...

Matt29_fml

kitten33

Katiekhali...

sardonique

Chokobolt

Faddyy6

AngelVampi...

Exaspera

Selke

JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

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Prank war W

Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

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Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

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Anonymous - 27/08/2014 03:19 - United States - Topeka

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

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unseeable - 29/08/2014 21:21 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

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unseeable

unseeable 3

Sunday 31 August 2014 8:10

To clear up some questions I wanna start by saying I'm 17 and currently training to be a manager at mcdonalds. I work 40 hours a week and go to high school as a senior. I don't have much time for friends so they figured grounding me wasn't exactly the best punishment. They decided to start charging me for bad grades or not being able to do some chores or simple stuff like that, nothing too major. I thought that it seemed a little unjust for taking my hard worked money from me because of course it only happens to me in my family because I work the most and everyone else has more time for being grounded.