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Randombystander's favorite FMLs

By is cum a fruit or a vegetable? - 17/07/2015 17:50 - United States - Germantown

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

agreeclassic 25 845

vote type 1 2 645

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

agreeclassic 44 698

vote type 1 3 060

By monster in law. - 17/12/2014 07:35 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

agreeclassic 36 293

vote type 1 3 437

By Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

agreeclassic 36 267

vote type 1 4 380

By mastel07 - 10/12/2014 12:59 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

agreeclassic 19 251

vote type 1 44 945