kwhite123

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Kwhite123's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

agreeclassic 68 696

vote type 1 15 438

By reb2632 - 29/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

agreeclassic 51 100

vote type 1 12 738

By catlady1989 - 10/05/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

agreeclassic 480 855

vote type 1 71 044

catlady1989 app_comment_confession_title

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Monday 11 May 2009 0:45

You people are so cruel. They were indentical except collar color. I said which one and he still messed up. My normal vet was closed because of Mothers day so the pound was the one to do it. I can't believe some of the things you people are saying... it is so hurtful... and both my cats did end up being put down...

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 276 903

vote type 1 37 149

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 1 940