magicbly

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Magicbly's favorite FMLs

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 276 903

vote type 1 37 149

By kalikanna - 07/07/2012 06:10 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

agreeclassic 35 914

vote type 1 4 226

kalikanna app_comment_confession_title

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Saturday 7 July 2012 19:32

Well how about this. This tool place in Florida, not new jersey. Yes there was a hole in the roof but he patched it up pretty quick. Yes my dad is a redneck and it was a brown recluse so it deserved to die. XD

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

agreeclassic 70 564

vote type 1 5 876

By girly girly - 26/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Keller

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

agreeclassic 13 196

vote type 1 46 977

The truth

By Class - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newton Center

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

agreeclassic 32 983

vote type 1 4 614